I enjoyed reading Decision Points. I like that Bush chose to organize the book around the major decisions of his presidency, rather than a chronological account of events. While I don’t agree with all the decisions he made, he explained his reasons for all his decisions quite well. I particularly appreciated his honesty. Not only did he observe his successes, but he was honest about decisions he thinks he could have done differently. This book gave me a lot of respect and admiration not just for Bush, but for anyone who has held the office. I definitely recommend checking the book out.
I came across a great quotation today that I thought would be worth sharing, especially in light of my post yesterday. Currently, I am reading Making All Things New: An Invitation to the Spiritual Life, which is a fantastic book. Nouwen begins the book talking about our modern, busy lives. I’ve had many conversations about the modern life, modern busyness, and balancing the spiritual life with “secular” life; so I found this quotation thought-provoking:
It is important for us to realize that Jesus in no way wants us to leave our many-faceted world. Rather, he wants us to live in it, but firmly rooted in the center of all things …. [Jesus] speaks about a change of heart. This change of heart makes everything different, even while everything appears to remain the same.
…
Jesis asks us to move our hearts to the center, where all other things fall into place. What is this center? Jesus calls it the kingdom, the kingdom of his Father.
{ Making all things New, page 42-43 }
At first read, it’s just a restatement of the familiar “be in the world but not of it” idea that Christians often (rightly) parrot. But I think Nouwen captures an essence of this delicate balance of Christian life in this world very well. We are to refocus on the Kingdom, just as Jesus did.
This is the freedom Christ offers: death to self and life in Him. When we refocus on that kingdom, and that reality, we experience true freedom. Christ does not call us to forsake all things earthly, rather we are called to refocus so that we are no longer concerned primarily with the physical kingdom around us, but the kingdom of the Father.
May you and I find the strength and the courage to recenter our lives on that kingdom.
I have been reading some fantastic books lately, have heard some fantastic messages and sermons, and have been learning much from my time with God. My lighter class load has freed me up to do some fun and needed contemplation. With graduation looming, I’m facing the next step in my life. Where to go, how to go, what to do, how to do it. More than anything else lately, I have been reminded that I must keep Christ at the center of that process–something that isn’t always easy to do.
I am daily reminded that it is not my life I live anymore. As Paul says, it is not I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I fear that I too often forget this…I want Christ’s salvation and redemption but I am unwilling to truly give up my life. I’d rather live a life of safety and contentment, making choices that are easy and safe. Christ becomes a nice part of my life that gives me warm fuzzy feelings when I go to church on Sunday.
Christ stands ready to change our lives. Our entire, holistic lives. To settle for anything less is both missing the point, and incredibly tragic. My human will desires freedom to do what I want. It desires to control God and relegate him to a comfortable square of my life that I designate on my terms. Christ invites me into a new and powerful freedom that is rooted in giving up all of myself and my ambitions. Didn’t he say, after all, that whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will keep it? In church today we talked about Matthew 20:20-34, the story of the mother who asked for her sons to sit at the right and left hand of Jesus when he came to reign. It is here that Jesus says that to become great in the kingdom of God, one must become a servant. God’s economy is entirely reversed from our human ideas. To become great, we must become low. And Christ himself modeled this for us. He became a servant to all.
The more I see this arrogant self-centeredness my own life, the more it breaks my heart. In an effort to try to preserve my own freedom, I have lost sight of Christ’s freedom. In a desire to live my life as I want to, I have missed out on something far greater.
Much of this lesson is nothing new. As seems to be the case with most things I learn, I don’t really seem to learn new things but rather I relearn things I should already know. I guess it just goes to show that I have a rather thick skull. I wrote recently that I wonder if I would recognize Christ if he were here today. If my life centers around myself, and Christ becomes only a small portion of my life, then I think the answer to that question is probably “no.” Because those that did recognize Jesus dropped everything they were doing to follow him. Hardly a good record for me if I am unwilling to drop all my priorities and ambitions for the same Man.
My hope and prayer is that Christ truly does become my all in all. That Christ should be my every breath, my every word, my every thought. That my entire life changes because of Christ. That I love like Christ loved. That I serve like Christ served. And most of all, that I don’t limit Christ to try to make my life more safe and comfortable.
I don’t think this is easy. My culture around me says to enjoy the moment, to do what I want to do, to make my life what I want it to be. Everything about the young 20s centers around what I want to do with my life, where I want to go to school, etc. Sadly, even the Christian community seems to echo some of these thoughts and attitudes–we just throw God’s name in to the mix every now and then to make it sound better. In this nation, we are blessed with the incredibly freedom to make what we want out of our lives, and the material blessing to be free from worrying where our next meal might come from. This is truly a great thing, but I think it is also a danger. And I see it in my own life: my focus can quickly shift towards myself and my desires. And in that process, I lose sight of the One who should be my all consuming passion.
If I say I am a Christ-follower, that means I am following Jesus, right? And with whom did Jesus spend his time? The least of these. Who do I spend my time with? Hmm. I don’t really want to answer that, because it isn’t “the least of these” and my natural desire is not to live with the “least of these.” I’d rather live in a nice neighborhood with a nice house and a nice car. Christ says to love my neighbor as I love myself, and I’m ok with that as long as my “neighbor” is someone I like. I’m ashamed of the ways I try to dismiss this simple, yet powerful message. I’m ashamed of the ways I justify ignoring the least of these, and the ways I mistreat others. I’m ashamed that I am only willing to follow Christ when doing so is comfortable to me.
Thankfully God is merciful and gracious towards us, and thankfully he knows our weaknesses. And thankfully, he is willing to change our hearts to be more like His. I pray that my heart is daily made more like His, and that His concerns become my concerns. I pray that He frees me from selfish ambition, and frees me to live a life of dedicated pursuit after Him. I pray that I would not just accept Christ’s salvation, and refuse his challenge to live life differently, but would wholeheartedly embrace a life of following Him.
Where you go, I’ll go
Where you stay, I’ll stay
When you move, I’ll move
I will follow…
All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone
Where you go, I’ll go
Where you stay, I’ll stay
When you move, I’ll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I’ll love
How you serve I’ll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you
Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You’re the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone
In you there’s life everlasting
In you there’s freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow
It seems that far too often, my summers disappear quickly. I spend the school year imagining what I’d like to do over the summer, only to find that I blink and not only does the school year disappear, but summer does as well. And I return to school and suddenly remember all the great ideas I had about what I was going to do with my time.
I am also a task-driven person, to my own downfall. But I hear for persons so afflicted should make lists for themselves. Which I actually do already, at school. Writing a list down seems to empty my brain of the weighty space the mental task list requires. So I am writing down my goals and aspirations for the summer. Most likely they will not all be completed, but one must start somewhere, no? I’m trying to make these both as manageable and tangible as possible. I suppose this is what you could call my “Summer Bucket List”
Read. I have…well actually I have lost count of how many books I want to read. I think the number would be 30+, but I’m not really sure. I just know I have a whole shelf of books I’d like to read, and a pile by my bed as well. I think to try to read all of them in a summer is too ambitious. But if I could read 15-20 books this summer, I’d be pretty darn happy with myself.
Rest. I have had far too little of it this past year. I actually don’t remember an extended period of rest. With Ireland, and mom’s illness last summer, it was far from restful. Goal this summer is to relax some by having fun (in the midst of traveling), and sleeping.
Sell Books. In addition to having lots of books I’d like to read, I also have lots of books I don’t need any more. Half.com here I come!
Sell Things. I really dislike how much stuff I have. And I have things I don’t even use. Thank goodness for eBay!
Practice my French. They say if you don’t use it you lose it. I have a book that was published in French I’ll try to get through, and I want to sit down every day and go through my flashcards. Maybe there will be a chance to speak a little when I’m in Switzerland.
Figure out what I want to do with my life. Ambitious? Yes. But it needs to happen, or at least so my advisor tells me. Actually neither she nor I believe it is something that must really be figured out anytime soon. What does need to happen is I need to figure out enough to start the process of looking at grad schools. Yikes! Which brings up another thing I need to do…
Study for the GRE. Or at least pick up some thick study guide to make myself feel like I’m accomplishing something to that end.
Travel. Namely, the Grand Canyon, Siloam Springs, Germany, Switzerland, possibly Ireland & Colorado, and San Diego. Eclectic? Yes.
The Gathering. Two things need to happen here. One, I need to find some speakers, or at least email them. [Hey, if you are senior at JBU next fall (or spring) and think you might like to submit an outline, let me know!] Two, I am told I will probably be the first one to speak at the Gathering next fall, which means I need to figure out what I’d like to say…
Retreats & Stuff. I have at least 3 different retreats I’m involved in planning… It might help my sanity next fall if I sat down and thought through some of the details that need to happen for each of them.
So yes, there you have it. Actually, probably not. I’m sure I’ll think of things, and update this. But yes, all my hopes and dreams for the summer. Of course, plans tend to change…God seems to enjoy looking at our plans and shaking them up a bit. That’s alright, I’m always up for an adventure.
If you were to come visit me right now, you would quickly notice the disorderly state of my room. I have boxes everywhere, of things I need to sort and decide if it is going back to school with me or not. But I also have piles, and I do mean piles, of books everywhere. I realized this year how much comfort I derive from the presence of books. They don’t even have to be books I’m reading, or will get to read anytime soon, or they can be books I have read. In any case, I just like having them around. I can’t really explain it, there just is something about the knowledge and ideas and opinions hiding between the pages that is captivating to me. I went the other day to pick a book from my “To Read” pile, and spent a considerable amount of time trying to decide. One my “To Read” pile isn’t small at all, and I also had indecisive issues, and couldn’t make up my mind. Each book it seemed held potential. Which one did I want to unlock? Well anyway, enough glorifying my nerdiness. I haven’t updated my reading list in a while, so in case you care to know what I’m reading, and hope to read, here it is. Always welcome to suggestions too…
Currently Reading:
The Way of the Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge
The Best of Father Brown, by G.K. Chesterton
How the Irish Saved Civilization, by Thomas Cahill
In The Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership, by Henri Nouwen
To Read: (note that these are books I actually own and hope to read, there are many more I still wish to read but do not own…)
God in the Dock, by C.S. Lewis
Frank Lloyd Wright, by Robert McCarter
Frank Lloyd Wright: America’s Master Architect, by Kathryn Smith
Blood Brothers, Elias Chacour
The Firm, John Grisham
The Testament, John Grisham
Amazing Grace, by Eric Metaxas
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert M. Pirsig
Manhunt: The 12 Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer, by James Swanson
Darfur: A New History of a Long War,by Julie Flint & Alex De Waal
Decision Points by George W. Bush
{ Making all things New, page 42-43 }
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